by Kevin Caruso
Many people have heard of the so-called “five stages of grief” and there have been many arguments about the validity of the theory.
So where did these “five stages of grief” come from?
They were described in the book “On Death and Dying” by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, published in 1969.
These are the stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.
Okay, that is out of the way.
Now, forget about those stages; or any other stages.
There may be one, two, ten, a hundred, or a thousand stages of grief depending on what criteria are used and who is doing the analysis.
Do not analyze your grief…express it.
There is no guide for grief. Everyone expresses grief in a different manner, and trying to follow a “formula” can be very bad for your mental health.
The most important thing is to express your emotions. Whatever you feel…express.
Will there be anger?
Maybe, maybe not.
What other emotions will there be?
Everyone is different; so it is difficult to determine in advance.
Just let your emotions flow. When you feel them, express them.
If you feel sad…express the sadness.
If you feel lonely…express the loneliness.
If you feel anger…express the aner.
If you feel afraid…express the fear.
Emotions will be felt, and you will express them.
Just make sure that you establish a strong support system and get help.
Again, do not worry about “stages” and whether you are “following” the proper way to grieve – there is no proper way to grieve. There is just YOUR way to grieve.
And give yourself time.
Grief is a process that requires time.
Give yourself the time you need…and heal.
God bless you.
I love you.
Take care,
Kevin Caruso
Suicide.org
Founder, Executive Director, Editor-in-Chief
(Grief and Loss.com is a Suicide.org website.)
